There’s nothing wrong with wanting nice things. But when it comes down to affordability, we have to ask ourselves: What’s the cost?
To me, we only have a handful of tangible needs to live: food, shelter (including utilities), clothing, and transportation. So, these are the things we want to focus on first and foremost.
That can be hard, though… Extremely, painstakingly hard for a lot of us. So, how do we overcome that?
Well, I think it starts with having some perspective.
Put Everything Into Perspective
If you remember, in my first letter to you, I mentioned we have a lot of people (along with their opinions) influencing our thoughts, and therefore, our actions.
We look at others and think: Wow, must be nice. And we’re constantly reminded of the things they have… and the things we don’t have.
That sparks many of us to go out and get the same things we see our friends, neighbors, family walking around with… Because we want those things, too, and because we don’t want them to think we’re broke. But we can’t be worried about what somebody else has…
Remember, the Joneses don’t live our lives for us… They don’t make us happy… And they don’t pay our bills or make our money for us. So, we need to put things into perspective.
What matters to you? What matters to them? And does any of that really matter?
Time and time again, we put other people’s opinions first, instead of our own. But what do you think about yourself? Isn’t that what really matters?
If someone laughs at you for not having much… well, how much do they have? What I mean by that question is this: How rich is that person on the inside, if they can’t see past their material things?
What good is it for us to gain the whole world but to lose our soul in the process?
So, the next time we start to worry about how others look at us… how we wish we had this and we wish we had that… how nice it would be to “have it all”… just take some time to put things into perspective.
Ask yourself: “Does it really matter how she thinks I look? I’m a good friend.” “Why exactly do I want this? I have something just like it at home.” “Will I truly be happy once I have it all? Things don’t last forever.”
And here’s the thing: When we’re stuck with the bill for the out-of-our-budget item we just paid for, we get so focused on paying for it… we can’t even take the time to fully enjoy it.
Put things into perspective and try to understand what you want and what you need.
Understand Wants vs. Needs
Things like a TV, a vacation, and new clothes are all luxuries. Wants… Desires.
Now, I know you might be thinking: Who doesn’t have a TV, though?! I get that. Even I have a TV. But what I’m saying is, think about your situation. If it comes down to getting rid of or sacrificing some things, so you can stay in your home… or keep the lights on… which one matters more to you? You need shelter. You don’t need the TV. There are bigger fish to fry.
And I’m talking about little things here, too. Because a little adds up to a lot eventually.
So, little things like a small accent table, because it’ll go well with our decor; a pair of jeans, because we’re going out tonight; or a comforter set, because our current set is old.
Okay, maybe I found a really good deal and the accent table only cost me $30… Maybe the pair of jeans were on sale for 50% off and I got them for $12… And maybe I (somehow) found a quality comforter set for $25. Honestly, $67 later, that’s not bad.
But a few bucks here, a few bucks there really does add up over time.
So what am I saying? Don’t buy things? Deprive ourselves of the things we want? Live with what we have?
Yes and no.
I’m saying, think about the things that really matter right now. And think about your goals, your dreams, your needs. What will it take for you to become financially well and independent?
Future You Is Important
You know, it really sucks to not be able to buy the things we want. But you know what sucks even more? Spending the next umpteen years paying for it—financially and emotionally.
I’m not saying it’s wrong to want nice things. I’m just saying there’s a price to pay for it. We might not realize it, but a lot of the things we do, say, and think are because of the influence others have on our lives—good and bad. Remember, future you is important. In 20 years, are you going to say, “Man, I’m so glad I decided to get that” ? Or, are you going to say, “Goodness, I’ve been paying this off forever”? You’ll thank yourself in the long run, if you wait for the finer things in life. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with living modestly. We don’t need much to be okay. We’re just told by society that we need to have it all. Good things come to those who wait. So hear me when I say this: Focus on your needs first. Everything else will come. It’s okay to not have it all and to not have it all “together” right now. Those who matter really don’t mind whether you do or don’t. And those who mind, well… they really don’t matter.
Besides, if it’s really important what that person, whoever he or she is, thinks you should have… ask him/her to get it for you. Maybe then it won’t matter so much.
Also, ask yourself if you really want someone in your life who’s judging you based on superficial things, rather than how you treat them (and others).
Start thinking about learning to wait before you get the things you want. Yes, you might have to make some sacrifices. But it will be worth it.
There’s nothing wrong with a little self-reflection. Start to question the inner you. Ask yourself: What’s the cost?