By Melody C. Kerr, MS, Founder
Certified Financial Coach
The holidays are right around the corner. Back in September, I already started seeing the Hallmark Channel’s advertisements about its new holiday movies. And the month of October feels like it never even happened. But besides questioning the super early holiday commercials on TV and the decorations in stores, I’ve been thinking about something else during this season… I’ve been wondering to myself: How many relatives, friends, and people I admire actually know what I think about them? I don’t know about you, but if I had to answer that question right now, I’d probably say not many. So (although they don’t know it yet), I think I’m going to do something a little different when I have Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner with my family this year.
Roses I’ll get to that in a second. But over the past few years, I’ve noticed that the “thing” is to honor somebody by roasting them. You know, make fun of them… but in a loving way. It’s funny to everyone, including the guest of honor. So, I honestly think it’s fine. But what about honoring people with “roses,” instead? Wouldn’t complimenting them go a lot further? Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with roasts, as long as the person being roasted feels loved and has a great time. However, as human beings, I think we have this habit of saying how wonderful a person was to us… when it’s too late. I’m going to be honest. I’m guilty of it, too. People have passed away and I seem to choose the moment when they can’t hear me anymore to think and speak about my gratitude, appreciation, and fondest memories. Why? I have no idea. But I know now it’s about time I give roses to people while they’re still here.
Nothing Left Unsaid I believe we were put on this earth to love people. To care about… to help… and to give to each other. And I think it’s time I start believing that… and living that. I don’t like to live with regrets. And I really don’t believe any of us should. So, if you were to ask me if I have any regrets, I’ll probably tell you, “No.” But after another untimely passing, I can honestly say there are areas in my life where I know I can do better… and be better. For one, I can be a better person, in general. Nobody’s perfect and we all have room to grow. It doesn’t matter how old you are or what your life experiences have been. There’s room for improvement within all of us. I know I like to think I do my best at being a good person, but Romans 3:23 reminds me of the contrary. So, I’m not saying not to try but… we all fall short. To be specific, though, I can be a better friend… and I can be better family. And I’ve made up my mind that there’s no need to wait until the new year to make this a resolution. Why put off for tomorrow what you can do for today? I’ve come to learn that if you leave things left unsaid “until” tomorrow… next week… next month… well, those things might just be left unsaid until you’re ready to tell the whole world… Only thing is, everyone can hear you, except for the one person who needed to…
Make Sure They Know So, starting now, I’m just going to take the time to say what’s on my mind. The genuine, kind things. And when the holiday time is here I’m making sure my family and friends hear how great I think they are. I mean, I already think they know, but just in case, I’m going to say it anyway. The last thing we want to do is keep kindness and love to ourselves simply because we think that person already knows how we feel or what we think. Because if you never got the chance to tell them, are you going to have peace knowing they knew, or are you going to have guilt not knowing for sure? Remember: We don’t live with regrets. If you have something genuine to say, don’t be tight-lipped about it. What you say could seem so small… so trivial. But it may mean the world to the person on the receiving end. I know today’s issue has nothing to do with finances. But our finances aren’t the most important thing in this life, and I felt the need to say something. So, if you feel like you can be a better friend… a better coworker… a better daughter, son, sister, brother, parent, aunt, uncle, cousin… or just a better person altogether… start by saying what’s on your mind.
With gratitude,
Melody C. Kerr, MS
Certified Financial Coach
