‘Tis the season! The holiday season is here, and it should be the most wonderful time of the year. Around this time, we’re reminded of what this season is all about: family, friends/ loved ones, and giving. I think it’s a great feeling when we’re able to buy things for the people we care about. But the reality is, although this is a season of giving, many of us are the most stressed in December. Many of us would love nothing more than to give our loved ones the gifts they want. But we’re so wrapped up in how we’ll be able to afford it all, we don’t even get to enjoy our time reflecting on the reason for the season. And when everything is all said and done, the joy this season is supposed to bring turns into despair that lasts through January, February, March, and maybe even the following months. That’s why I took a step away from talking about retirement (which you can catch up on here and here) and decided to talk about budgeting last week, instead… All too often during this time of year, do we throw out our plans and goals, only to struggle to find the right gift for everybody now… and struggle to find the money to pay for them later. And what’s thrown out right along with those is our holiday spirit. So today, I just want to briefly remind us all (including myself) why we do what we do during the holiday season.
A Season of Giving
Have you ever given a gift to someone who had no clue how you knew he/she wanted it? That person may have thanked you many times over. Not just because of the gift, but because you had the consideration to pay attention. You took interest in whatever it is he or she was interested in. You took the time out of your schedule. You took the time to listen. You took the time to think about someone else other than yourself, even if nobody asked you to. Giving has a way of becoming infectious. Not only does it make us feel good most (if not all) of the time, but sometimes, it changes something inside the person on the receiving end. To know that, by simply being thoughtful, we could make someone’s day with a gift is a gift in itself. It is more blessed to give than it is to receive (Acts 20:35). Our gift to someone could spark that person to give to someone else. And it spreads from there. It’s all part of what makes this season of giving so wonderful. Being selfless and generous… thinking about someone else… putting that person (or people) before yourself… That’s what this is all about. Sharing. Listening. Caring. And maybe even sacrificing. This is a time to reflect on the greatest gift the world has ever received. Someone who came to save us all… even when we didn’t know we needed saving. Identifying a need and answering it with a gift. That’s what’s important. But not all gifts can be found at Walmart…
My Most Memorable Gifts
I won’t go down memory lane, but some of the most memorable gifts I’ve ever received aren’t gifts I can show you.
They were thoughtful acts of kindness. They were acts of service. They were signs that showed me someone cared. And sometimes, they were words spoken to me from the heart.
If you’ve never read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, I highly recommend it. It helps you understand yourself and others (your friends, your family, your colleagues, etc.). Some people speak service; some speak quality time; some speak touch; some speak gifts; and some speak words.
By reading it a couple years ago, I learned that I’m more likely to remember what someone says to me, because words are a big part of how I feel loved.
It’s probably why I’ve been collecting the greeting cards I’ve received over the years for as long as I can remember. From birthday cards to Thank-You cards to Christmas cards. To me, they’re priceless.
…And let me emphasize the word “priceless” for a moment. Because we live in a world that tells us happiness can be bought. But if we look around, we know that can’t be true.
So, why should that be any different during the holiday season?
The Greatest Gifts
I’m not saying to scrap all your plans and do away with buying gifts for the people on your shopping list. If you know you have the ability (affordability) to get something specific for someone, don’t make any excuses.
But what I am saying is: The greatest gifts on Earth are not gifts you can touch, see, or buy. The greatest gifts are the ones that come from your heart.
That’s your time… your kindness… your hugs… your thoughtfulness… your trust… and your love. But I could go on.
In a 2019 post-holiday survey by MagnifyMoney, most shoppers in the U.S. added over $1,300 to their debt number, on average. And more than half said they’d need at least three months to pay it off.
Now, the keyword there is “average,” because I don’t know about you, but I’d definitely need more than three months to pay my holiday debt list off, if I decided to buy everything for any and everybody this year.
Don’t let the sake of “buying something” pull you further away from your goal: Financial freedom. Because buying now for the sake of buying prevents us from truly being able to do so at full capacity in the future.
But if we take it one step at a time now, when we get to financial freedom, we’ll unlock our ability to live life like no other, giving tangible and intangible gifts to each other whenever we want, and for years to come.
Now, I know some of us still have kids, spouses/significant others, and other loved ones we’d really like to buy something for this season. So, look out for a following issue, where I’ll share some ideas you may find helpful for this holiday season.
But until then, just remember, if you’re trying to think of some gift ideas and you need a good place to start… try starting from the heart. Because the best gifts in life are free…
With gratitude,
Melody C. Kerr, MS
Certified Financial Coach
